Gird your loins fearless skeptics and the next time you pass Lady Fiona’s Fairy Castle Emporium of Crystalline Delight( either a shop of woo or a really weird theme brothel) pop in and cast your eye over the knick-knacks and posters.
What do you see?
Dolphin’s, that’s right fucking dolphins. Dolphins, depending on who you talk and how strong their grip on reality is, are:
- angels of the sea
- beings of equal or superior intelligence hampered only by their inability to use tools
- extraterrestrials
- benevolent rescuers
- ancient atlanteans
- insert crazy idea here
These cute marine mammals come to symbolise grace, power and healing and for $99.95 some aspiring con artist new age healer can sell you a book, cd, weight loss program, etcetera. How can we resist teaming flipper with aromatherapy – cute animals and products always go well together. Quite frankly I think someone could sell dolphin crap as a facial tonic and it would fly off the shelves.
Facts about Dolphins
- that smile of theirs is a feature of their anatomy, not an indication of their intent
- they have been known to bite, ram and dunk people in the water
- known to abduct women and children
- known to confuse humans as sexual mates ( a male bottlenose has a foot long penis with a hook on the end)
- bite people who feed them or don’t
- they are also observed being extremely aggressive toward one another
Dolphins are animals, some wild, some captive, but they are animals not humans in fish suits.
Well okay I don’t believe that crazy stuff but dolphin therapy is kosher, right?
Dolphin Assisted Therapy has been suggested to cure:
- Autism
- Aids
- Brain injury
- cerebral palsy
- down’s syndrome
- cancer
- sounding familiar yet
- ….
oh and the cost- not in the hundreds, not in the thousands but in the tens of thousands.
Is there any evidence to suggest that swimming with dolphins is any better than swimming without them?
Not yet.
Many thanks to Dr Karl’s Science is Golden
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I was watching a documentary many a year ago and they made a claim along the lines of dolphins being the only animals other than humans to pick on and bully other members of the same species for no apparent reason other than fun, personal entertainment. The voiceover person stated "In fact, you could say that dolphins are the bastard mammal of the sea". It's why I occasionally refer to myself as the woolly dolphin.
Apparently they can be quite aggressive sexually as well.
Oh yes! They don't do the ropes and bondage thing but they are noted for playing rough at times. And kinky too, lots of gay sex in dolphin world, and they don't mind a bit of self-loving either. I want to be reincarnated as a dolphin.
I like dolphins. For simply being dolphins. Just the way I enjoy spending hours watching whales. I find it relaxing and it gives me pleasure. I don't get the same thing from a plastic toy dolphin.
Stop it – sides are splitting xD
Agree the best place to see dolphins – in the wild not, as objects for our amusement
Male dolphins have been known to surround, isolate and gang rape females. I think my source for that info is Matt Ridley's, The Red Queen, although it's probably readily available elsewhere. Flipper's an animal in more ways than one.
But 60 Minutes said they are magical curers of autism. WTF? You eat kitties, not dolphins.
Actually being an atheist I technically should eat kiddies, says so right there on my pinko commie godless bastard membership card
Only because kitties are easier to catch than dolphins. Plus they curry up a treat.
You haven't me my cat obviously. The one that hospitalised me
My mum went swimmingwith dolphins in Egypt during the 6os and she tells me they really bruised her leg badly
what a load of new age woo they promote around these animals eh?
There we have it. Annecdotal proof that dolphins are malevolent:D
I never understood the allure of dolphins. It's clear that they are secretly plotting against us.
As far as I'm concerned, so long as they stay in the ocean and I stay on land/ in a boat, everything is hunky dory. I have similar views on cuddling koalas (vicious little brutes), or approaching any wild animal. <_<
You know when the Amercian military is using them that they can't be trusted.
I rather like dolphins, but people tend to have a bit of a mystical ideal image of them. Dolphins aren't like that: They rape, they torment, they bite, they have quite a lot of the behaviours we humans consider amoral. It's not at all uncommon for bottlenoses to gang up and gangrape smaller species of dolphins if they can get their flippers on one.
So yes, bestiality -and- rape.
They don't have the actual hook that the article mentioned, though. That's false information.
Care to provide me with some info on the prehensile penis. The background on the male dolphin's prefered weapon was from Dr Karl's book – I am sure that he would appreciate being corrected
Isn't that a bit too explicit for this blog?
Ok, close your eyes if this is beyond your rating!
The dolphin penis does not have a hard or sharp hook at it's end, although it's tip is often curved. Dolphin penises are prehensile (agile) enough to straighten this curve out but I suspect/guess (I don't have valid evidence for this) that the curve at the tip is somehow better suited to fertilizing female dolphins (perhaps there's a bend in the reproductive canal?).
This curve shouldn't be harmful, it's quite fleshy. I'm sure I could find a picture on the internet to support this. (It's the internet after all. If it has anything remotely to do with sex, it'll be on the internet.)
I think my reply got deleted?
Just fishing it out of the spam filter